Emotional Distress

From time to time, everyone experiences emotional pain, however, sometimes the distress is particularly severe or long-lasting and interferes with your ability to function in daily life. If you are experiencing sadness, grief, or anxiety that is persistent, transformative therapy can help relieve the symptoms, address the underlying causes for your distress, and provide you with help in restoring emotional well-being. I help you create relief in your life from the negative consequences of that stress on your body and mind. Experience calm and relaxation and feel confidence in yourself to deal successfully with any future anxiety or emotional distress you feel.

Compulsive and/or Negative Patterns of Behavior

Compulsive and negative patterns can be extremely debilitating, causing the person to feel trapped in a cycle of automatic reactions, familiar choices and repetitive behavior. This causes a feeling of powerlessness and loss of control. At the same time an intense, often unconscious drive is motivated by the illusion that the patterns of behavior fulfill some level of control and power.  I help you discover what is trying to be fulfilled, what is the underlying need, fear or belief that is manifesting itself through the compulsive and/or repetitive patterns. Negative Patterns of Behavior – Patterns of thinking and behavior that create constant destructive circumstances in a person’s life, whether it be manifested in self-destructive behavior or outward projections causing things in one’s life to consistently collapse. Transformative counseling is extraordinary as a means to help identify what these patterns are and how they work in your life. You explore and heal what caused these patterns and make changes to positive, self-supportive thoughts and behavior.

Self Esteem, Self-Confidence, Social Comfort

The pain and emotional distress that fills a person when their sense of self is in question, when a person is filled with constant and intense personal doubts in their value, importance, loveableness, abilities and self-worth and it can feel overwhelming. There is who we think we are and there is who we really are. The fear that comes from who we think we are creates self-doubts that prevent us from relating to others with confidence and comfort. The fear experienced can affect our ability to function on many levels, especially in social or group situations. This fear can build upon itself until the “fear of the fear” becomes overwhelming. Transformative counseling helps you become aware of the “false-self” that questions whether you are enough, that makes you feel you always need to do more, be more, be better than you are and that you are never quite enough to be of value, to be acceptable, loved and wanted. I assist you in the process of identifying the false-self and understanding how and why it developed. As you do this, you begin to know and acknowledge your true-self, your authentic, genuine, confident self, the self that always has been and always will be you. This is when you become empowered within and your feelings and experiences out in the world change. You are able to interact with others from a place of calm and confidence.

Self-Doubt and Negative Self-perception

Our sense of self evolves through the years beginning at our earliest moments of life, shaping itself with every experience we have. When we are very young we see ourselves through the eyes of those around us and come to create a belief system from how we interpret our experiences. Our “false self” or “wounded sense of self” reflects, not the truth of who we are but is composed of the false perceptions of self. This false-self, even as we grow into adulthood, exists in deeper layers of our consciousness and remains the self we fear is true. Finding the origin for our negative sense of self allows us to recognize it and  work with what it represents. With transformative counseling, you discover the sources of your self identity and realize what you believe is true on an unconscious level. We also explore the negative perceptions you believe consciously and discover where that perception comes from and change these into a positive and supportive, self acknowledging and true sense of self. 

Self Image

Self image can have very little to do with who we really are, what we truly project, what we actually reflect physically to others. Our perception of self can be so solidly set that this is what we see in a mirrored reflection of ourselves, even if the image in front of us does not, at the present, show that to us. Our eyes see the image of who we believe we are.  We can believe that others see this same image and perceive us as we perceive ourselves. We believe it regardless of how strongly others assure us they see something different. Transformative counseling does exactly that – it transforms the self-image to what is accurate, acknowledging the positives, the beauty, the brightness. I help you understand where the critical voices come from, learning how to create a new foundation upon which you perceive yourself from a positive, self-accepting and self-loving viewpoint. I help you recognize and make changes to negative and unhealthy habits and patterns, developing positive self esteem, self confidence, self-awareness and physical health and well being.

Negative Body Image                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

Various techniques of hypnosis can be a major force in helping people alter their perceptions of themselves and to create a positive and clear sense of their physical being. Hypnosis works in perfect harmony with the various techniques already proven to be effective for weight issues, eating disorders and negative body image. Feeling comfortable with our physical self is essential for the full expression of that self. If we question our value, if we fear we will not be approved of , it is difficult to fulfill goals and experiences that place us in the focus of others. Shrinking into a negative physical image creates sadness and loss and the gifts that are ready to be embraced and illuminated cannot express themselves in life. Learn the powerful techniques that best support your relationship with your physical being.  To recognize and completely acknowledge every aspect of who you are allows every part of you to shine brightly out into the world.

Grief, Death, Loss

I help those facing the death of a loved one work through their grief, loss, pain and the life changes that accompany death.  At A Peaceful Way you will also receive support and healing for other losses in life including illness, crisis, accidents, loss of home/work or loss of a relationship. Experiencing the loss of someone who is important to you (through death or separation) can result in deep emotional pain. Transformative Counseling can be a safe and nurturing experience to help with the process of loss and death. Everyone needs to process their grief, whatever loss they are grieving and the support you are provided for this process can be significantly helpful in coping with these experiences.

Depression, Loneliness Hopelessness; Powerlessness

When you feel like you can't do it alone... When you feel trapped, like there's nowhere to turn... When you feel anxiety so much of the time and can’t seem to change how you feel or understand why you are feeling the way you do... When the way you feel is affecting your sleep, your eating habits, your job, your relationships, your everyday life... When even the advice offered by family or well-meaning friends doesn't really help you feel any better, then it is important to have someone to talk to – a person who is able to help you work through the emotions, to feel stronger, clearer, more empowered to take action to move through and beyond what feels so solid and in control.

One of the most common feelings accompanying depression is the feeling of hopelessness. It is quite potent and can often prevent the person from reaching out due to the intense fear that they cannot be helped. Depression makes a person feel so very alone and fearful of not finding a way out of their feelings of aloneness, separation, disconnection to oneself and others. It is of the utmost importance for the person to know that there are ways to understand what the depression is all about, work through what that is and that they will be able to feel differently. Feeling like you do not fit anywhere in the world, in life, is painful. It can be a very real fear and it can underly every other part of your life. Through the counseling here, you can build your sense of self in the world around you. Open your connection to who you are and the power and strength that comes with that. Learn what you have held inside and heal and release those old wounds and experiences. Embody a strong and clear sense of self-identity, experience inspiration, self-empowerment and hope.

 

Career:

Conflicts With Co-Workers, Employers, Employees, Clients, Customers
Many challenges can arise in a work environment. There can be conflicts with others around you and this may negatively affect the ability to enjoy and be productive in all areas of work. Quality of work can be affected and can cause a great deal of inner turmoil during the hours of work, as well as in the hours you are not working.  Another difficulty at work can be interacting with those of authority. This can be complicated and sometimes it is not certain what the best action or reaction should be. You could work a large percentage of your daily life and the impact of the experience can permeate into your home life, relationships, family, parenting, mental and physical health. Knowing how to handle each situation and each person in the work environment can make all the difference. Transformative counseling provides the ability for you to understand what you are feeling, what deeper thoughts and feelings are being triggered, the most effective ways to address the challenges using tools that effectively help you develop the skills to communicate and respond at work from an empowered, effective and productive place.         

Your Job Can Be What Brings You Joy And Fulfillment
Our job is a means to support our financial responsibilities and hopefully acquire the money to have those things that we desire, whether they be furniture or exploring the world through travels. So many of us find ourselves “stuck” in jobs we do not want, jobs where we feel unappreciated, unhappy, unfilled. There is an accepted attitude specifically present in our society that promotes the opinion that our work is supposed to be our “labor” and we should not expect to feel joyful, satisfied, fulfilled in our work but satisfied and appreciative of its ability to pay the bills and take care of our families. The joy comes later, after years of investing time and energy and the willingness to “do what you have to do” to keep “afloat”. We are encouraged to believe that if we have some enjoyment at our job, we can consider our self lucky. It is difficult for us to believe that our passion and fulfillment can also be our work - that what we most enjoy, what we have a strong drive to do and inspiration for, is possible for a means of employment and income.  Some of us do take a chance on our “dreams”, but, many of us are hesitant, even afraid of pursuing what makes our heart sing as our work.  A man or woman who has worked for years, dedicated to creating a secure and solid home for the family spends little time believing it is possible to actually accomplish their vision for a change of work, one that would make them feel inspired, happy and fulfilled. Our society clearly defines what makes a dedicated and valuable man. Many men have shared their fear of being considered “irresponsible” if they consider shifting jobs or career as an adult with a family. They explain, “I cannot change careers. My friends and family will think I am not being responsible, that I am not doing what a ‘man’ is supposed to do”. 

Family support and career/job fulfillment are not exclusive to one another. I help you recognize what it is you really want to do - what you are passionate about, the career you would pursue if you knew you could obtain financially security from that work.  I help you expand your vision of possibilities and recognize what is truly a representation and expression of your unique identity and then discover the potential for making that fulfilled successfully in your life. 

Women’s Specific Issues

Due to many influences of Society, our culture, history, family, community, education and business institutions, the roles of women have many specific guidelines and expectations. These can be solidly set within our perceptions and attitude…they may be conscious and unconscious. I help women see clearly their identity as an individual and woman separate from the roles that have been defined through their life. Personal empowerment comes from knowing where we take on patterns of thinking, perspective and beliefs from sources not representing our authentic self identity. Do we know what we really think and feel about our identity as a woman? Do we know what thoughts, behaviors and choices are being impacted by what we have taken on of society’s point of view as our own.  What do we really think and believe about ourselves as women? Women have unique experiences and issues in different areas of life, including relationships, business, friendship and parenting. It is important to know and understand how our thinking developed and to utilize the uniqueness of the women’s place in life in order to own self confidence, strength and self-empowerment.  

Men’s Specific Issues

Men have some similar as well as very diverse influences as women. Men are best helped when they can thoroughly understand what the attitudes, pressures and expectations of men are……what they are ‘taught’  to believe, become, work for and achieve as a man. For both men and women, the influences are powerful and so many of them are extremely unconscious and unquestioned. To be powerful enough to grow and change ones life, we must be aware of how we think and why and work to establish and become clearly defined individuals based on recognizing and acknowledging our genuine identity.

Performance Anxiety

A few years ago I read a survey ……part of a large research project exploring the human mind, specifically human fears and how they manifest physically, mentally, emotionally and behaviorally. The number one fear was found to be the fear of speaking in front of a group. It was determined to be the most overwhelming and anxiety provoking experience and the mere thought of speaking in front of others stimulated a notable emotional discomfort.  Fear of performing or being in front of people can effect a person’s ability to achieve their dreams and experience areas of themselves and life that are possible and supremely fulfilling. Performance Anxiety activates physical responses that can prevent the person’s ability to complete their personal goals and expectations. It can be literally incapacitating, bringing great distress and frustrating limitations. I have extremely powerful and successful techniques to help anyone experiencing this debilitating fear. You can gain a feeling of confidence and calm during any performing or public speaking activity.

 

Addictions

Addictions of all types can be incredibly traumatic for the individual with the addiction and those around who know them. Addictions expand beyond the addictive behavior and has potential to be hugely destructive on many levels to the body, mind and spirit of the person as well as to their lives and others lives. I help those with addictioins to see clearly what their patterns of thinking and behavior are and where they came from. The techniques I use bring a deep understanding and healing to deeper levels of pain and unresolved issues that have sat beneath the surface and stimulated the feelings that activate addictive behavior.  Transformative Counseling helps you learn to direct yourselves through whatever comes up for you with confidence, clarity, responsibility and acceptance. I provide tools that are extremely powerful in changing the way you see yourself and your life. Self-judgment and a wounded inner-child are very prevalent with addictive behaviors and must be explored with compassion.

Healthy coping skills are particularly essential to develop when sensitive to addictive patterns of thinking and behavior. The confidence in ones’ ability to calmly and positively handle whatever situations come up is extremely important. Understanding the emotions that are triggered within you in reaction to different circumstances and experiences, thoughts and feelings is how the addictive person gains self-awareness, therefore, self-empowerment. Learn positive ways to relieve anxiety and tension. Feel confident when confronting thoughts and feelings that might draw you into the old and unhealthy choices.

If we do not have a clear self-identity we will fulfill an identity based on fear, past experiences, doubts and personal pain – which becomes a very fragile and inaccurate sense of self-identity. We then make choices and judgments based on this fragile sense of self. The healing process for someone with addictions depends on identifying these negative, false perceptions, recognizing what they are, where they come from and changing them to positive, accurate supportive perceptions and beliefs. Transformative Counseling helps you successfully work through these issues and discover your inner peace. This can be an incredible time of letting go, surrender, healing….self discovery and growth, creating new directions and goals, a time of strengthening and re-birth.

12 Step Programs
Those who feel ready to address their addictions often reach out to a 12 step program for guidance and support. The program is often chosen as the foundation of their healing process and the changes they wish to make in their life. I have extensive training, education and experience with the 12 step program, its philosophies, guidelines and framework, as it is used for various addictive behaviors.  If you are involved in, or are considering participating in a 12 step program, I always help you create a whole, balanced and very powerful healing process where your 12 step program and counseling process will be mutually enhancing, enriching and supportive.

Drug and Alcohol
Addictions to drugs/alcohol are important to identify. Without the recognition of this, the addiction can be intensely destructive to ones life on every level, the body, the spirit, the mind. The force that motivates the chemical addiction is strong and cunning. It survives using manipulation and fear.  I have worked extensively with various addictions and I provide the guidance for you to develop   personal insight and identify your underlying thoughts, feelings and personal challenges that have directed you towards this particular coping mechanism. We explore all aspects of addiction and how your unique family history and experience, physical, emotional and family dynamic have impacted the resulting addictive behavior.   

Eating Addictions and Disorders
Unresolved Emotions express themselves through certain behaviors. Food and eating is commonly used as an avenue to express, shut off or stuff down emotional turmoil and distress. If a we feel a loss of control or power in other areas of life, eating can seem like the one place we have control.  Eating can also represent a way to ‘stuff down’ the feelings that have become too uncomfortable or confusing. Instead of expressing the feelings outwardly, which can seem overwhelming or impossible for many reasons, the feelings are turned inward and shut down. Food can serve to ‘disconnect’ us from ourselves. Discovering what the feelings are underlying the eating behaviors is essential. Transformative counseling works positively and effectively to help you understand what the thoughts and feelings are, where they come from and how to heal and change your relationship with food and eating.

Family of Addictive Persons – Al-Anon program
Dealing with a family member or friend who has an addiction can be extremely difficult and painful.  Family members need to have a place to receive support and guidance to help understand the addictive behavior and to learn the healthiest ways to face the issues of family addiction. I have extensive experience and awareness of the al-anon program and can provide balanced counseling that actively reflects the philosophy and goals of al-anon. A Peaceful Way is a comfortable, supportive environment where family and friends of persons with addictions can share their feelings and receive understanding and guidance.

Addictive “Thinking”
Addictive thinking can still be present even when the specific addiction has stopped. Example; a person can become clean and sober and yet still act, react, interact, perceive and behave the same as when they were actively in their addiction. Having awareness of the addictive thought process, how they perceive themselves, others and situations in life is essential to the success of that person’s ability to remain out of their active participation in the addiction.  Any unresolved issues, unhealed wounds, past experiences and emotions will leave you with continued false perceptions of self and the world around you, consistently activating the addictive way of thinking and reacting . Self-destructive behaviors can discontinue but, if not thoroughly explored, understood and worked through, one self-destructive behavior will almost certainly be replaced by another, different self-destructive behavior.

Learning to Handle Being Emotionally “Triggered”

Relaxation and meditation techniques provide you with the ability to handle anything from a more grounded, centered and calm place. It allows you to focus and become clear of mind as well as tuned into the wise voice of intuition. The exercises relieve stress and anxiety, confusion and the feeling of being overwhelmed.  It calms emotions and brings peace and enrichment to the spirit. Once we notice that we have been triggered by something or someone it is difficult not to drop back into old patterns of thinking and behaviors. When we are triggered we react to what the trigger represents as opposed to the situation at hand. We might respond to many years of hurt just activated rather than the experience we are presently facing. When we feel a button inside us being ‘pushed’, it means deeper, unresolved emotions have been stimulated. Our behavior that follows is more reflective of the stimulated emotions than what has just happened or been said in the present circumstance. Often what is stimulated represents our childlike self who is sensitive, defensive and insecure or angry, feelings representing the past, sometimes wounds that have been existing under the surface for years. In counseling at A Peaceful Way you understand that, once ‘triggered’, it is extremely difficult to handle a situation in an adult and healthy, responsible way.  Instead, the ‘wounded child’ reacts and tries to handle what has happened. I help you become aware of what your triggers are and how to recognize them when they occur. You learn techniques to help you work with the emotions that are triggered and heal the wounds that are brought to the surface. As you do, you will find you feel more in control and gain confidence in your ability to handle, comfort and support your wounded-child at any time you need,  allowing you to have the ability to interact with others from a grounded, more productive and adult place.

 

Phobias

A Phobia is an uncontrollable, irrational, and persistent fear that is generally concentrated on a very specific situation, experience, activity, person, place or thing. When a phobia begins to afflict a person’s normal, day to day activities, thoughts, plans, experiences it can activate depression, hopelessness and even overwhelming loss of themselves, their identity and sense of self. I help you learn calming coping mechanisms while you gain strength and confidence in your ability to use positive alternative responses to the fear. I use effective techniques that get to the root of the fear and work to redirect the fearful thinking and perceptions.  It is critical to experience in an environment of patience and understanding and a sense of consistent trust in the supportive process you are going through.

 

Social Anxiety

Social Anxiety is, simply, feeling an overwhelming anxiety from the thought or actual experience of social interaction. There are many influences to cause someone to develop this anxiety related to social engagement. There are many characteristics of social anxiety that are quite normal and understandable with most everyone feeling different levels of anxiety in social situations at one time or another. Recognizing this can relieve much of the worry and self judgment which, in itself perpetuates and strengthens the anxiety. Again, when an anxiety or fear begins to impact ones choices, behavior, physical and emotional state to a point where they isolate themselves in attempts to avoid the experience related to the anxiety, the person would benefit greatly from learning about their anxiety, healing any past wounds, trauma or challenges that have caused the fear and discomfort with others and developing effective ways to feel secure and confident through social experiences in their lives.

 

Abuse - Past and/or Present

Victims of trauma, violence or abuse can feel so overwhelmed by feelings of fear, anger, or helplessness that their ability to function in their lives is significantly impaired. Therapy is critical. The wounds from trauma and abuse are very deep and touch a multitude of ones thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behavior, choices and personality. I provide a safe, unconditionally non-judgmental environment for healing physical, emotional, mental and spiritual injuries. The damage abuse causes is great, however, the experience I provide in therapy will help you finally reach what you need to within yourself and your past, successfully working through whatever is necessary to heal the wounds, take back your power, your life force and personal direction and move forward to live and grow and be whole and complete and alive.  

Abusive Relationships

Abuse can happen in any relationship and it can manifest as physical and/or mental abuse and is ‘violence’ regardless. The destruction to ones spirit is extensive and grows more as abuse continues. If you are presently in an abusive relationship, and you have not been able to leave, it is not about your intelligence or your courage or your value. I have counseled many extremely intelligent and powerful women and men who had found themselves in abusive relationships. As time goes on the entanglement becomes more and more extensive and the strongest self identities can become enmeshed within a complicated, multilayered maze of emotional manipulation and devastation. Relationship abuse follows common cycles that continue to reinforce the sense of powerlessness and self-judgment, ‘hope’ and loss. When in an abusive relationship, no matter the perceived ‘level’ of violence, it is critical for the abused to reach out for emotional support and guidance. Abusive relationships are so full with carefully designed illusions as the abuser invents and persistently fortifies the false realities he/she needs to creates, it becomes extremely difficult for the abused to remain aware of what is real and what isn’t. There is carefully structured isolation and constant fear generated perception of the abused environment and experiences. My years of extensive experience working with domestic and relationship violence allows me to help guide anyone in an emotionally, mentally and/or physically abusive relationship through the process of healing and change. Transformative Counseling is gentle and promotes inner strength and clarity. You also learn specific ways to deal with the circumstances of the relationship. You find direction and answers and the strength and means to make the choices that are best for you and your future.

Post Traumatic Stress

Post Traumatic Stress results from someone going through an intense time of danger and violence - an experience causing overwhelming loss of control, physical and/or emotional pain and intense loss and/or death. Long after the actual trauma, a person can continue, on a conscious and an unconscious level, to experience the moments of trauma continually in their mind and body, being triggered to the surface, into a sense of reality, over and over again. This is a level of stress that is so potent and constant that a person can quickly shift into, seemingly unprovoked, moments of panic and intense fear. The trauma impacts a person’s sense of reality to the extent that the sensory connection to the past events and emotions can ‘overlap’ the present experiences It creates a deep and constant sense of danger and self protection. Victims of trauma, violence or abuse can feel so flooded by feelings of fear, anger, or helplessness that their ability to function effectively is significantly impaired. Therapy helps a person safely realize the trauma and how it has impacted their lives. PTSD causes clear physical, psychological, hormonal and chemical changes. Areas of the brain such as memory and cognitive activity are affected.  Post Traumatic Stress can greatly affect a person's ability to function in areas of family, work, social and personal. People who suffer from PTSD often re-live the experience through nightmares and flashbacks, having great difficulty sleeping. They often feel disconnected from themselves, others and their surroundings. It can be a persistent and pervasive condition that needs safe, patient and careful attention. The counseling experienced at A Peaceful Way provides that safe and supportive environment and allows for the necessary healing to occur.

 

Childhood Wounds

We all have childhood emotional wounds, varying in intensity for each person.  Each of us bring with us aspects of these past experiences, carried in different areas of our consciousness into the years as we grow and become adults. The result of the unresolved trauma is unique to each person dependent on our individual personalities, perceptions, attitude, outside influences, coping mechanisms and support systems. Unhealed wounds remain within us if there is no intervention and resolution. These wounds vary in the intensity of their impact on who we are, how we see ourselves and the world and people around us. They will, if unresolved, remain a filter for all other experiences, thoughts and feelings, whether consciously or unconsciously. Our sense of self and how we perceive the reality around us will represent in some way, the influences of the beliefs molded from the unanswered questions, the pain, emptiness and fear of those internalized wounds. Childhood wounds can often be resolved through bringing up the experiences to talk about and explore in counseling. Some wounds are particularly severe and so deeply entrenched into the person’s psyche that they need someone who can patiently, non-judgmentally, confidently help them, step by step, through the healing process. Transformative Counseling provides just that experience.

Childhood Physical, Mental, Emotional and/or Spiritual Abuse
Childhood Abuse is destructive to the young person’s being in so many ways. Their very spirit can become deeply injured. They often feel broken, damaged, confused, angry, guilty and disconnected from self and others. Abuse, whether it be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual is violence. Abuse violates and invades the person’s very soul and leaves them with many extremely difficult challenges as they move through their lives. Abuse needs to be healed. Abuse needs to be acknowledged and given truth and value. I help those struggling with abuse from their past retrieve themselves from the places of pain and fear and become empowered, strong and fulfilled adults.

 

Anger Issues

Anger is a healthy emotion and important to give value and understanding to. It is critical for anger to be expressed with self-awareness and responsibility. If anger is not recognized and expressed in a conscious, productive way, the emotions will stay inside, stored in the conscious until it finds other ways to try to get up and out. It can’t be stuffed down, blocked, forced away. Emotions will always find a way to be heard and expressed on some level. The emotions of anger that have not been dealt with will be ignited at times that cannot be predicted or, most often, controlled. Something in the present can easily stimulate unresolved anger from the past. When these past emotions are stimulated they flood in and can push you off your center. Your mind can become confused with the overlapping of present feelings with past anger. When anger is accompanied by a loss of control, there are usually damaging effects. Acknowledging the original source of the anger from the past, then working through and healing it allows for the anger to be acknowledged with no judgment, processed through and you can release your attachment to it. As a result, you find you are able to deal with anything in the present without stimulating the pain from the original cause of the anger. I guide you through this process, helping you to deal with your emotions from a place of understanding, control, clarity and power. I provide many healthy and effective alternatives when anger becomes overwhelming. 
            
Physical Conditions and Illness – Click here for additional information on Body/Mind/Spirit

 

Pain Management

Counseling and support is extremely critical for those of us in pain from illness or injury. Hypnotherapy develops a strong, open and direct connection to our physical being. Our power to impact our physical self and effect its health and well-being is extraordinary. Exploring the possibilities for your own abilities to change how you feel and actually alter your body on a very scientifically proven basis brings a sense of power and control in your life and your situation that may feel quite lost to you as a result of the struggles with the physical conditions that have occurred for you. You learn wonderful and easy techniques that can substantially lessen your experience of pain. You will work on deep levels of your subconscious in order to activate the powerful, self-healing process and also change certain fears and perceptions or beliefs that are stored as very unconscious, automatic thinking. You have the capacity to effect your body with an amazing force to heal and manage discomfort and pain.  

 

Transitions in Life

Transitions of death, birth, marriage are just a few of the specific changes we make as we proceed through our lives. Many of us do not have the experience of acknowledgment, guidance, understanding, celebration and honor while going through personal transitions. Many young people are not given the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual space to go through their transition into adulthood. They may not have the protection and safety, the support, the teachings about what they are experiencing and why.

Many cultures give specific focus on and participate actively in the transitions of their lives. Educating their youth to recognize and value highly any change from one stage of their growth to the next is given the highest priority and must be recognized with total awareness, explored intricately as they move though each one. Children are taught how to create a place of honor and ritual for each “death” and re-birth, whether they be actual or symbolic, they experience. Many indigenous cultures establish highly complicated structure to the process of release and closure. The way in which a person experiences the transition is as important as the change itself. There is family and community support and encouragement and the responsibility to help the young person through all aspects of the transition process is given to the adults holding great wisdom attained from their own experiences of transition and change. The transitions are accompanied by celebrations, acknowledgments, quiet meditation, inner work and contemplation. There is room for the youth to explore what change is all about and to identify and understand their fear, their doubt, their unique and individual relationship to growing into the new stage. They are surrounded, watched and protected.

Our culture doesn’t always process change and growth well. Many are feared, dreaded, resisted, denied and/or neglected. Traditional thinking of our western society, in it’s attempt to expand technological strength and power has negated some of our most valuable transitions. Some of them are perceived as bothersome – such as a women’s onset of her menstrual period or a woman’s menopause. We are usually shown, through our advertisements and entertainment media, that what the person is transitioning into is wonderful and something to celebrate, such as birth or adulthood, however, the actual experiences of the transitions have negative consequences. An example of this would be the belief perpetuated by our culture that giving birth causes a woman's body to change in a negative way. Death is also a challenging experience for our culture and we find we struggle with the process of grieving and “closure”. When we do not intentionally, with full awareness and attention, experience our life’s transitions, we do not move through the changes from the old into the new without a sense of fear and uncertainty. We often are left with unresolved emotions attached to the ‘old’, bringing them into the ‘new’.

A Peaceful Way’s individual counseling, workshops and retreats offers the support and guidance for change of any kind. I provide various wonderful and powerful tools to positively and effectively move you through the experiences of change, including death, loss, personal transitions. These tools empower you through the active participation in the process. You will access your strength, your power, your courage and your understanding as you face the changes that are before you and work with them to be ready to move into the next phase of your life. This reinforces trust in yourself and your ability to deal with any changes that you face. Transformative Counseling instills strong coping tools that encourage a healthy and positive development. Rather than perceiving the change as something that ‘shouldn’t’ be happening……experience the changes as an intricate participant in your intimate experience of what is occurring in your life. 

 

Personal Growth

Therapy can help you overcome obstacles that have kept you from reaching your goals and becoming the person you want to be. Therapy can help you learn more about yourself, as well as others, and how you can live your life with deeper personal satisfaction. Letting go of old behavior, thinking and patterns while developing new perspectives, healthier choices and a positive conception of self can be quite complicated and intense, often confusing and challenging. When you become involved in your own process of personal growth to be an active participant with compassion and understanding, you are then the creator of your life. Giving focused attention on your own process of growth and development, emotionally, mentally and spiritually unlocks the door to everything that is available to you to heal, grow, empower and change. Personal growth can be the most exciting, enriching and rewarding experience an individual can have. Transformative Counseling gently supports and guides you through this process, helping you see where you hold the key, where you have the answers. I help you access your intuitive voice and guidance and how to recognize your inner strength and wisdom. Your personal growth is a process of lifting away the confusion by reconnecting with your spirit and with the world around you. Your spirit desires only to fulfill itself in all its authenticity and full illumination. 

Releasing Inner Critical Voices:
Inner “voices” is simply a term that refers to the many thoughts we have that represent any number of beliefs and perceptions. Those thoughts can seem like they “talk” to us, telling us who we are, on the negative and positive sides. Some of these ‘voices’ reinforce our strengths and abilities accurately, some continually reinforce our worst doubts about ourselves. The thoughts that come through with endless self-judgments and perceptions are called our “critical inner voices”. These voices can have a great deal of power when we believe them, when we create a world around us that forms to their perception of what ‘should’ be. They can be extremely destructive to our relationship with ourselves and to everyone and everything around us. It is not ‘bad’ to have these thoughts, we all do to some extent……it is when we determine our reality by them and cannot tell their ‘reality’ from the truth of who we are. It is sometimes very difficult to identify the ‘truth’ within the flood of fear and doubt based ‘voices’ that come in. Our inner critical voices usually develop early on in our lives and often are a reproduction of voices of criticism and judgment heard at that time. They also are the conclusions we came to throughout our lives, many of which came from our attempts to resolve different experiences and emotions we had when we were young . Some of these thoughts have repeated themselves over and over, hundreds of times for many years, continually reinforcing the belief they express, making it strengthen in truth rather than dissipate, allowing the actual truth to emerge. These inner ‘voices’ have purpose to them. In the negative, they can sabotage us, minimize our feelings, direct us to negative habits and behavior, talk us out of what our rational, intuitive self is trying to tell us.  It is important to recognize the ‘critical inner voices’ and begin to understand where they developed, how they have been reinforced and how to change the negative thought patterns. When we explore these thoughts carefully, we are able to release the power they have on our perceptions of self and the choices we make. We cannot develop a clear identity when we have dozens of conflicting thoughts taking you in different directions.

Coping Mechanisms
Sometimes emotional distress in any area of a person’s experience, such as relationships, work, social interaction…are associated with one’s belief in their ability to handle the feelings and thoughts that come when facing a challenging experience. All of us develop our own coping mechanisms for those places of challenge, discomfort, fear or doubt. They are either healthy, mechanisms or they are a series of behaviors and thoughts that help us cope through unhealthy means such as shutting down, disconnecting, out of control anger, inappropriate humor, addictions, obsessive behavior and disassociating from ourselves and from others.

We reach for something that can successfully block the painful, frightening, uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. When we think we are not able to handle something, we immediately create some way to cope, to get through. Our fear of what will happen if we directly face what is before us, or more accurately, what is happening inside of us, is great and overcomes us. We automatically go into “fight or flight” – a physical, emotional and mental condition all humans naturally, instinctively have to protect us from what we perceive as danger. Understanding that our painful emotions, our fears, cannot truly endanger us and that we have every ability to deal with any emotion, any fear that we have is the first step to changing self-destructive, negative coping patterns into healthy, self supporting and empowering responses for dealing with the experiences of life. Transformative Counseling guides you through the process of making these important changes.

Power, Effectiveness and Success

Our personal power is in the Moment. No matter where you have been, what you have experienced, what you have chosen, how you have felt…..self-empowerment can begin at any point. There are many thoughts, interpretations and expressions of power leaving many confused about how to develop it and then use it in life. Feeling empowered is important for all of us. It makes us feel stronger, more capable, open to possibilities and change. The strongest component to being truly empowered is knowing clearly where you have power and where you do not. Many of us spend much of our time and energy on areas of our life we do not have power – an example is the attempt to have power over what someone else does or thinks or chooses. This can take a substantial amount of our attention, leaving us with little left for where we really do have power to change.
We lose our true power as soon as we become attached to something or someone outside of ourselves we ‘need’ to make different. Self-empowerment is ignited through surrender. Empowerment understands that surrender is not failure or giving up…..it is recognizing where your focus and energy is being drained in the attempts to ‘not give up’. Empowerment is the ability to step back and let go enough in order to see where you do have power. Sometimes your power is in ‘how’ you handle an experience rather than preventing or changing it.


We lose our power when we affix ourselves in past experiences and/or future possibilities. We become more empowered when we let go of the “should have”s or the “what if”s. If it “should have” happened, it would have. What will happen, will. Do you find yourself investing a great deal of time sorting through what did happen, why it happened and what you think you should have done differently?  Do you give a lot of time to the future - worrying about what might happen? This is where we do not have power. We have power in the present moment. We don’t have to give up memories or working through where we have been and we don’t have to disconnect ourselves from planning and creating our future. We empower our imagination, our vision, our preparation and our anticipation when we remain grounded in the present. The present moment opens the channel to creativity, passion, joy, self-expression, self-empowerment and inspiration. Transformative counseling is an extraordinary avenue to learning how to live in the present moment with the power and passion that experience provides.    

Find Personal Fulfillment

 Personal Fulfillment is one’s union with the experience of life. Do you desire to discover what represents your own, personal experience of fulfillment? Do you fear you have lost, or possibly have never known what makes you feel fulfilled? When expressing the many roles of an adult – mother/father, husband/wife, employee, friend, provider, nurturer – you can often lose a connection to what expresses your own being, unique to any other role in your life. You may have learned well how to fulfill the needs and responsibilities of life and family, as well as the needs of others, however, in all of that ‘fulfilling’, have you lost the experience of self-fulfillment?  Personal growth is based on a clear sense of self – specifically defined by your authentic expression. As you attain your intimate relationship with personal fulfillment, you will know more clearly who you are, what you love, what you value, what represents your genuine and authentic character, gifts, talents and unique individual qualities. Fulfillment comes from being an authentic, true expression of your being and creating the physical, mental, spiritual and emotional reflection of that within yourself and in the world around you. I help guide you along that amazing journey, using wonderful techniques that help you get through the layers of outside identities and move you to the realization of your most valuable and precious fulfillment of self.

Loss of Connection with one’s Self, Others and/or Life

The most common feeling my patients share with me is their sense of disconnection, emptiness and loss. They no longer experience passion or inspiration. They are exhausted from their efforts to deal with anxieties, self-doubts, fear, guilt, and self-judgment. They don’t know what being an authentic expression of themselves really is. They have lost connection and awareness with what they desire, hope for, what brings them joy, fulfillment, peace and comfort. We should feel joy in our lives. We should know what Passion is. We should have a clear sense of who we are and go out into life and live it fully. A strong connection to the ‘center’ of our being is so important and finding that connection is what so many of us are seeking – wanting something more, something deeper.  Transformative counseling guides you to discover the way to self realization and to learn how to live as the complete expression of your unique self. Having a strong ‘center’ and an emotional, mental, spiritual foundation creates an open and strong channel, into ourselves and with others. It allows us to meld with the depth of our experiences. It helps to keep us whole, clear, effective, self-directed and powerful. Without connecting with our ‘center’, we will feel scattered, confused, overwhelmed, powerless, defensive and extremely sensitive to being ‘triggered’. When connected, we feel a place of peace. This inner connection extends outward to everything we experience, and is literally the place we speak and act from, make choices from and give and receive from.  It assures the strongest, calmest self when dealing with any situation that we face. Learning how to find this center place and channel the energy within yourself and into life is powerful and alters every other area of your life.

 

Spiritual Growth

Spiritual Growth is the process of self-realization and awakening. The process helps you to recognize what is the genuine spirit and identify what represents the false self. Spiritual growth is a process of revealing and unveiling the true spirit rather than a system of building, increasing or adding onto. Your spirit, whole and complete is always there, within you. It always has been and always will be. Shedding the layers that limit our spirit, that dim our light, and make us doubt our hugeness, brightness, power and beauty is how we achieve our spiritual growth. Spiritual growth does not develop what we do not have, it shows us who we already are. Spiritual growth is the process of realizing, embracing and celebrating our spirit’s existence within.

Exploring Purpose and Meaning
Feeling a sense of purpose, and striving to see the deeper meaning in one’s life is what empowers the spirit. It lifts us from feelings of limitation, powerlessness, confusion and uncertainty. It grounds our roots deeply into the evolution of ourselves, others and life. We are connected, we participate, we make a difference, we bring our essence to what we see, feel, do and experience. We are never without purpose. Our very existence has purpose. Uniting with and understanding what this means to you will ignite, and forever keep lit, the energy of motivation, inspiration and gratitude. The Transformative Counseling process provides a strong, supportive guidance to help you explore these deeper areas of your being, your path of life, helping you find your own, unique understanding for life’s journey. 

Deeper, Spiritual Connecting – Existential DeepeningThis is wonderful for helping you develop your insight or self-understanding. It focuses on many of our philosophical contemplations of life, such as choice, purpose and responsibility. This approach explores the value for your individual existence. This examination of ideas emphasizes “free will,” the ability to make decisions not dictated by heredity or past conditioning, through which an individual can become the person that he or she wants to be. Existential therapy attempts to restore the ‘meaning of life’, as it is to you, on the most intimate level. This is an area of spiritual growth that can stimulate inspiration and courage to make choices that are rewarding and fulfilling. It encourages the philosophy that says we have the power to create because we have the freedom to choose. This technique helps with the feelings of emptiness and loss of meaningfulness in life. You will be able to effectively deal with these feelings and make new and healthy choices as a free and powerful human being. This method focuses on developing self-awareness by exploring and understanding the experience of aloneness, meaninglessness, and mortality. Meaninglessness transforms into meaningfulness, giving you the courage to make your own healthy choices and to lead a personally and spiritually rewarding life.

Relationship with a Higher Power - as you understand it to be
Transformative counseling supports all personal belief systems of spirituality. There is no expectation or judgment about a belief in a higher power or how that power is perceived. I work with your particular belief system, whether it be a specific religion, a non-denominational church, more unique and alternative spirituality and worship or a connection to something greater on a more independent level. Some people’s beliefs contemplate and question the actuality of a higher power, exploring other possibilities while others explore the realms within the consciousness and the union with a higher consciousness. I help you heal and grow within that which represents your belief system, how you see and understand life’s existence. You identify and acknowledge what feels right for you, whatever that is. I help you strengthen the spiritual and personal connections and beliefs you embrace and I help you use the power of those beliefs to help you through your healing and growth process. 

Recognizing and Utilizing your Intuition and Inner Voice
Our intuition, the wise voice within, is 100% accurate. Learning to access, clarify and strengthen your intuition has such a vast benefit to your daily life. Learning to recognize the inner voice and trust it is the key. How do we distinguish the intuitive voice from the many other thoughts moving through our minds? There are varying thoughts framing different perspectives, pulling us in many directions, sometimes seemingly contradictory directions. It can be confusing as to how we can identify the inner voice providing us with important information and guidance. I help you open your senses to your inner wisdom and, specifically, how to recognize your intuitive voice. When you develop trust in this inner, wisdom and trust your ability to identify it, you will experience a greater confidence and courage when handling all situations and making decisions in your life. 

Awakening Passion, Inspiration, Creativity and Joy
Are you experiencing feelings of loss of passion, creativity, inspiration and joy?  Many have expressed to me their deep sadness when remembering past times filled with very bright, warm and incredibly fulfilling energies. They fear they will never experience these feelings again. Passion, inspiration and joy are the very essence of spirit and, with counseling, I help you understand that they do not die or disappear. As with your spirit, it is a process of reconnecting with the reality of these experiences already alive, waiting to be accessed and awakened. I help you discover what is blocking the way to your experience of passion and joy. I guide you through the process of healing any wounds, fear, doubt – whatever needs to be recognized and resolved in order for your channel to passion, joy and inspiration to be opened. You then can, once again, bring the flow of these energies back into your experience of life.

Expressing your Authentic Self out in the World
Living the life you want to live is wonderful to imagine but most of us don’t believe we can actually do that. Some of us are not even sure of what we want or what to do if we really had it. Being an expression of our true selves, qualities, personality, gifts, feelings, abilities is our spirit’s quest and it will never stop seeking the expression of its true self as long as we exist. To be an expression of ourselves, we need to know who we genuinely are. We need our unique identity to be clearly defined. I help you see the deeper you, the genuine person inside, to really know who you are, what you want and what fulfills you and fully express it out into your world in every way. It is an amazing journey.

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